Hi

How are you today? I hope you are good. I am not, not lately.

Most people know me as a passionate guy with great will power. But things have not been the same lately.

I used to think that stress, anger and depression are something that need not to be bothered about, and one can moderate them oneself if they want to, but I have started to feel that it’s not the case anymore for me.

I have realized that these mood disorders are hindering in my productivity. Infact, I am going through the worst era of my productive life. I read less, concentrate less, sleep less, relax less, work less,… and stress more, anger more, anxious more, depress more…

I started making excuses to myself, I deluded myself that I am doing the best I can. All this time I was surrounded by clouds of nothingness, my mind has become a black hole.

Good thing is I have found the cause of this issue. Some choices I made past year, which felt like the best thing to do at that time, now seems like the worst mistake of my life. But now that I know it, I am taking that cancer and removing it from myself physically and morally, for once and for all. It hurts a lot to do so, but I am doing it anyway.

However, the stress has risen to a whole next level, putting me through not only mental, but physical pain, which now seems like not so easy to cope with alone. So, I am looking for some medical help with a psychiatrist.

I know I will get over this problem too, just like always, I just hope to get rid of this fast, just like always .